The day Kasturi was born dawned overcast and wet with unseasonal Showers. The landscape of Agra washed by rain shone like a newly minted coin in the weak morning sunlight. The hospital resurrected from an old haveli still had a few of its old features intact just in case the owners had a change of mind. But I was blind to all these wonders as I waddled to the operating room / kitchen. The connotations of having a baby in the kitchen were mind boggling, what better place for boiling water as one sees in old movies. The door to the operation theatre was held open for me by a very courteous “jhaduwala”(Janitor). How did I figure out his occupation you ask? Simply by the tools of his trade he carried around with him. We walk into the cavernous room lit by the lights over the operating table which did little to dispel the darkness in the room. I got my daily exercise quota just walking to the table. Awaiting me there were the 4 people entrusted with the responsibility of bringing my baby safely in to this world. Do not want to sound sexist but an all male crew? It was not a tire rotation I went in for but to deliver a baby! Too late for any thoughts, I was lead to the operating table and rolled on to it is the only way to describe it, how else does a round object move but roll. And then in between the pleasantries about the weather and trying to recognize my gynecologist behind his mask fell into a deep sleep.
The feeling was wonderful, joking and laughing one minute and the next peaceful slumber. It seemed like just a short while later I was jostled awake by my grinning significant other. My eyelids reluctantly open and catch a glimpse of a tiny pink bundle. The effort was too much and my eyes close, I need another few minutes. Relentlessly hubby dearest prods me to wakefulness …. Spoilsport. He thrusts the Pink bundle at me, now if only I could get the appendages to move on demand, but they are still in la-la land where I should rightfully be. His cheer is seriously dragging me down. It seems churlish to refuse, hence with great will power I look down to a face set in a frown and eyes tightly closed and all screwed up , she definitely had the right idea, I could sympathize with the feeling and would love to go back to sleep too.
A quick check of fingers and toes sets our mind to rest, little knowing we had now begun a new job with no job description and no pay. The quietly sleeping baby’s expression seems to have been set on frown as if daring anyone to disturb her repose. We felt mighty proud on having achieved the distinction of becoming parents wondering what all the hoopla was about, here was a new born all swaddled up and warm peacefully asleep. How difficult could it be to take care of this tiny being? The next few hours pass in peace and night creeps in and the bustling town quiets around us and tired from the eventful day we decide to settle down to peaceful slumber, The first mewling cries go unnoticed in the general settling down routine, but babies I learnt persevere and get progressively louder till you cannot hear yourself think. Thus began the first of innumerable night shifts.
Life was a cycle of diaper changes, feedings and naps. Days and nights lost its significance, catching 40 winks when and where we could. We were well past simple tiredness and had no time to ponder. On the job training took on an entirely new meaning. Finding our footing in this new realm was slow and torturous, the baby our task master and guide and we were learning how to be parents through trial and error. Self help books held wisdom, but just not what worked with our little one.
The first smile we beheld seemed miraculous and was gone in an instant, still not sure if it was just gas. Life became a celebration of firsts – first smile, first steps, first tooth, first words….. The list is endless. Each first brought with it new challenges and changes. Our growth was a sub product of the new environment, an unexpected bonus. Where once we were hesitant and wary, a wide eyed innocent gave us confidence. she taught us to leap.
We realized that every baby was born with a self destruct button in hand and an overworked guardian angel perched on their shoulders. We watched in awe as tiny feet that could hardly hold up the person could move so fast when she focused on something, how unerringly little fingers found the most dangerous thing in every place. Moving a prized possession to higher ground is no guarantee of its survival and strangely enough it was ok. Watching her grow has been the most rewarding experience of my life, what she is today is a tribute to her resilience .
