Commute

Driving down the rain soaked road, pounded by the rain, my daily commute to work was only different in the sense of being inundated in the downpour. The same mind numbing, auto pilot drive where you reach your destination with no clue as to how you got from point a to b. The car ahead hydroplanes and instinct takes over as my foot slams on the brakes, hands tighten on the wheel and eyes frantically scan for other cars on the road. The center lane beckons and as I steer in I see the skidding car finally manage to get back under control. Time elapsed, maybe a few seconds! my heart is clanging like cymbals, my hands are clammy and I can feel the adrenaline rush. More conscious of the world around me, I sit up straighter and drive on, I see my life flashing before my eyes, who said it happens during the scare, there is no time for those kinds of shenanigans, all you can do is react, fight or flight.

                My accelerated heartbeat slowly gets  back to normal, memories crowd my mind. Happy and sad intermingle to create a unique mosaic . A few thoughts jump out and grab my attention, if this very minute had been my last have I lived life to its fullest? What have I Marked off on my bucket list? I see that I exist but have stopped living. My happiest memories were of warm hugs and laughter with friends and family. I solemnly promise myself to live life to its fullest but as the day goes by the adrenaline rush dies down and procrastination rears it unseemly head . Life will be lived but why hurry and change what's not really broken. I ll live my life maybe tomorrow ..... When there is more time :) 

Son

What are Little Boys made of 

What are little boys made of?

Snips and snails, and puppy dogs tails

That's what little boys are made of !"

 Becoming a mother is a bewildering and wondrous experience . It depends on factors ranging from  the amount of sleep one managed to get, to if we are actually able to get baby to have a nap. The first experience at motherhood had panic and terror interspersed with wonder. The second time around was definitely more wonder and less visions of doom and gloom.
 The old nursery rhyme definitely described Kaustub. The little one with the smirk captured for infinity in our family pictures. How does one describe this conundrum . He has yet to meet a stranger but can be as prickly as a cactus with friends . He is the true opposite of his sister. An early to bed, early to rise baby born into a family set on a late schedule. 5:00 am wake up call of gurgles,7:30 pm rain or shine saw him drop into deep sleep wherever he was. I guess thinking that bringing up one child willy nilly  prepares one, simply wasn't true. Here was the happiest baby I had ever seen. Loved everyone but allowed only a chosen few close. A true connoisseur of food , who turned up his nose at packaged baby food, though this could have something to do with his being fed McDonald fries and sips of soda by an ever obliging sister when he was about 2 months old.
Found  great enjoyment in playing in the kitchen cabinets rearranging stuff, which basically meant throwing everything out and making the cabinet his home . His favorite toys were pots and pans and cardboard cartons. He happily rearranged the living room creating mountains out of laundry and rocks with pots . Quilts and sheets trailed every which way  interspersed with toys creating a terrain a rock climber would love to scale or cause a cleanliness freak to run screaming. It was difficult to explain the design style to surprise visitor's.
He is every mothers dream and has promised me a 9 diamond ring with a central diamond that lights up and a box of tissues . Gifts I ll treasure forever I know. Has a heart of gold and sees a glass half full . Independent to a fault, as evidenced by his taking the bus to school on his first day, where every child had grabbed on to a parents hand. I Am still unsure if I should be proud or sad that he grew so independent, he didn't need me to hold his hand or was so secure he did not need his hand held.
Years have gone by in the blink of an eye , today he stands before me still a little sweet a little tart,
an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, surrounded by mystery.