Oh yuva yuva !

Eternal youth and invincibility were the mantra of my teen years. Reality intruded but briefly and usually struck pretty hard. But the lessons learned were soon forgotten, else what excuse did we have for getting into situations created by oneself.

I suffer from acrophobia, put in layman's terms simply means fear of heights. Lofty name for a lying low problem one thinks. Knowledge being power one would suppose it would keep the persons feet on Terra firma, but youth is its own misdirection. That's how I found myself a few feet from the ground hanging on for dear life to a rock face. If my feet hadn't been required to maintain my precarious position I would have been tempted to give myself a swift kick to knock some sense into a dense brain. Finger nails that I grew, nurtured and kept painted was disposed of without much ado, after all the visual of a body cast was enough to make manicure a last priority. So there I was halfway up a rock biting my nails. Bad manners, bad situation and a really bad decision all rolled in one. From down below comes the guiding voice asking me to look to the left for a pinch hold, believe me the name was appropriate, a pinch is a minor discomfort compared to having to put ones well being into a minuscule nick on the rock face. The cheery voice down below continued to pass on gems of knowledge from the safety of a level floor. If life hadn't been hanging from a thread it would have been my greatest pleasure to lob a rock in the general direction and let gravity do its part. Pictures of mountain goats and reincarnations as one danced about my head. Inch by inch I scrambled, crawled and jimmied myself against the forces of nature. A hand appeared near my eyes, had I slipped and reached paradise? or should I kiss it in gratitude? nah! no such luck , It was a hand attached to the body of a former friend, who in the present situation almost couldn't pull me up to the top, being impeded as he was doubled over with laughter at my expense, now I am sure you understand the allusion to his being a former friend. At last I had reached the top.... well whatever of it there was.... To put it in polite terms a one feet by one feet perch where even dirt refuses to stick around was my destination. And lo behold what do I see but a meandering path leading right to where I began this arduous climb.

One would think that experience would have taught me a lesson. The heated blood of youth found me at the top of a five storey building, to be precise on the edge of the water tank perched atop the building. As I stood there with sweating palms, I watched a good friend disappear over the edge leaving a trail of two taunt ropes in his wake. Up drifted a few choice epithets greatly enhancing my vocabulary of colourful words. Cautiously peered over the edge to be confronted by the soles of a pair of shoes. There hung my friend upside down tethered by a couple of ropes five storeys from the ground. Unbidden laughter erupted all around. It was an indeed a sight to see the oh! so proper gentleman in such a pose. As the said gent safely rappelled on down second thoughts raced around. The stairs seemed so tempting. Ohhh ! what a tough choice I faced ... on one side lay the possibility of a few broken bones and a possible heart attack, while on the other hand lay a safe descent one step at a time where the only thing that killed me would be boredom ! While I was wool gathering my friends (now I use the word real loosely) have been busy. I now found myself attached to the ropes with carabines walking backward (as if facing the edge would make it better... haaa! ) feeling for the edge and seeing the ground abruptly fall out behind you, a walk on the wild side with the descent finished that episode. Did I emerge wiser? ohhh no! that would be too easy, cause I went back to the same place and through the same thought churning process many more times. Even put up a show of my prowess for my parents and some NCC local bigwigs.

Did this cure me of my phobia? no such luck . This I realised standing atop the Eiffel tower in Paris and affirmed this conviction later on the Leaning tower of Pisa. The only change was I now could add acidity, hallucinations of people hanging upside down and absolute fear of ropes especially when I am on anything higher than a footstool, to my list of symptoms! That could be the reason why I am writing this sitting on the ground !

Cheers!

Gypsies Trek

Lying on the hard unrelenting railway platform the cold wind pierced my skin finding its way through the gaps in the newspaper I used as scant covering. Goosebumps jumped up as I tried to get warm. Tired eyes scanned the horizon waiting for the whisper of dawn. My ears were hoping to hear the welcome sound of the train wheels grinding out its litany on the tracks, signaling an end to this terrible wait. Beside me lay my friends in the same predicament but putting on a brave face. After all we had made the choice. Whom else could we blame? The welcome sound of the arrival of the first train cut through the chattering of our teeth. Slowly we rise to our feet and board. The cessation of wind raises a ray of hope. Maybe we may yet see this day out.

The journey continues in a ramshackle bus filled to the brim with travelers and livestock of every description. The ride finishes when we run out of road. Coughing in the dust of the departing miracle on wheels, we gather our belongings to continue our journey on foot. What begins as a light drizzle turns into a full fledged downpour, drenching us in no time at all. A few songs to raise the spirits is drowned out by the rain. We concentrate on putting one aching foot in front of the other. The clouds clear bringing out the sun , the heat causes our clothes to steam. Doubts about our sanity assail the mind. Why were we in this predicament? Who put us up to it? Who forced our hand? Answers we had none. But we promised ourselves, that of this torture we had enough, no more would we follow this tiresome path.

Like a mirage rising from the mist we see our destination. Emotions run high, we had made it! Another trek had been successful! Forgotten were all those inconveniences we encountered. Spirits were revived. All those little complaints had cleared off like mist in sunshine. The joy of being together permeated our souls. A simple walk together had forged a deeper path. The return would be full of laughter, songs and a deep rooted feeling of well being. Where once each stumble was met with a groan, now it elicits laughter. You plan and wait impatiently for when we can walk some path together again.

There was a point to this narration… for all of us out there who find it a uphill struggle .. wait till you reach the peak … and also these walks on the wild side have given you the precious gift of friendship .. forged while you walked in step … creeping in unnoticed to get into your bloodstream and forever mark you as the …. "GYPSIES"

Thoughts

a blank screen mocked my attempts to write .. brought a pathos never felt before ... words faded out of recognition .. thoughts scattered out into the winds .. dark clouds outside my window pushed in my darkening thoughts .. looked at all the mails flying around in surprise ... felt like a stranger looking into a lit window .. watching the festivities .. so near yet so far ... a sense of belonging .. I could not grasp ... felt the loneliness press in on me ... thoughts so gloomy .. my eyes could not see ... misplaced my sense of reality .... a candle flame fluttering in a storm ...

gypsies

once upon a time .......there were a group of friends ... as they became better acquainted , they decided to give themselves a name to set themselves apart from all those vague friendship circles you find around ... they hit upon a name best suited to their interest ...... and thus was born the "Gypsies".. a more fun loving .. living life to its fullest band of people you wouldn't find around ... chirag leke dhundne par bhi nahi (now don't ask yeh chirag kaun hai ... bhavana ko samjo .....(down boys this is not some gal we know ). well time passed like it always does ... days filled with fun frolic and laughter changed like the seasons ... days turned into months and months into years ... responsibility and other interests slowly crept in and took over all the space once reserved for this very special group . ... a few hardy souls tried to keep the tiny flame from flickering out but winds of time were too strong ... in the scattering pages of memories I tried to gather those precious few ... but find myself battened down by silence ..... where did all those friends go ..............

friend

How important is friendship we ask ourselves. the answer is quite simple for one who has no friends - not very important they would say, after all you cannot miss something you have never had. But ask someone who has lost a friend and you would hear an entirely different story.
The beauty of this relationship lies in the fact that it matters not if you are in touch or not, the connection once forged stays on.
In all my thoughts of friends and friendships.... the one dearest are the thoughts of you my best friend ....who laughed and cried with me ... the one who frowned when all others egged me on in my trivial pursuits ... you heaved a sigh of relief and shook your head in wonder at another stunt I survived ..... smiled at my success and shared their own ...saw through my laughter to the tears beneath... you let me in on your sorrow, and let me wipe your tears... opened up your heart and let me in ... stayed by me when all else seemed lost .... was a rock to my turbulent emotions ... and let me hold your hand when no one else knew you hurt ... you could always coax a smile when the days seemed full of gloom and doom ... thoughts of whom still bring a smile ...what did I do to receive such a great gift ? so precious its invaluable ... as I begin another year .. I could not let it pass without letting you know you are in my thoughts ... and how much you mean to me !

How could I honour you my friend ... for all that you are ?... never can I reach the lofty heights of friendship you have scaled ... but I can be a friend too .... and reach out to you!

walking down life's path

The path I was on, lay long and straight as I quickened my steps pulled by forces unseen...... up ahead could be seen a few shadows..... I hastened to join them feeling the loneliness press in .... the encroaching mist covered the road.... voices reached out like alluring hands guiding me to the unknown.... icy fingers walked up my spine as I stood irresolute.... which path do I choose ? Faltering steps came to a halt as wisps of uncertainty clouded my vision .... I looked on back and saw the curves, bends and breaks in the path I had traversed....when did I cross it , how did I miss out on the bright sunshine.... the many hued flowers I had trod in my anxiety to get where I am now.....I saw clearly the joy and beauty I missed in my haste to travail the path.... lying scattered in my wake were the things that made me... me!!! My success, failures, joy and sorrow were the crutches I now held in my hands....when did I pick that up.... when did it become a part of me.... ? Answers there were none....but the smiles of lives I had touched reached out their warmth to me... forgiveness for the hurts spread out their healing touch.... now when I turn my gaze to my destination..... up ahead a faint light beckoned..... guiding me onwards with the understanding one backward glance had elicited.... with slower steps I walk.... paying attention to my surrounds ... where once darkness dwelt.... now I recognise the greys and colors seen in the swirling mists of time..... as another step I take on my life's path.... the realisation that the journey was more important than the destination finally dawns ! If I witness not another sunrise, the jouney through this life however long or short will suffice cause in all its entirety it was beautiful and mine !